


Montparnasse, and a Montague

by Sunfreckle



Series: Modern Means Less Miserable [7]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Betaed, Cat, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jehan is sunshine, Montparnasse doesn't stand a chance, Nonbinary Jehan, One Shot, Other, Pets, adopting a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 01:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11151672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunfreckle/pseuds/Sunfreckle
Summary: “Parnasse?” Jehan asks from their favourite spot on the floor. (It’s the only spot where they can lean against the radiator and still reach their boyfriend’s feet when Montparnasse is sitting in his favourite chair).“Hm?” Montparnasse hums.“You like cats, right?”





	Montparnasse, and a Montague

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't take it anymore and wrote some jehanparnasse fluff. I blame [Madlyie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Madlyie/pseuds/Madlyie) and  
> [Deboracabral](http://deboracabral.tumblr.com/).
> 
> [Edit: Takes place after 16 Lies and Counting]

“Parnasse?” Jehan asks from their favourite spot on the floor. (It’s the only spot where they can lean against the radiator and still reach their boyfriend’s feet when Montparnasse is sitting in his favourite chair).

“Hm?” Montparnasse hums.

“You like cats, right?”

Montparnasse lowers his gaze and looks into Jehan’s face. Their eyes are wide and innocent, but he doesn’t trust it one bit. “No I don’t,” he says. And he doesn’t like cats. He respects them. From a distance.

“…you like cats better than other animals,” Jehan tries again.

“Not true either,” he contradicts. “I like betta fish.”

Jehan waves their hand around vaguely, bracelets tinkling gently. “Fish don’t really count though.”

Montparnasse makes a nondescript sound. There is a short silence in which Jehan plays with the frayed edges of the strategic rips in Montparnasse’s black skinny jeans. And then, just when Montparnasse starts to relax again:

“ _I_ like cats.”

Montparnasse grimaces. “You like all animals.”

“But _especially_ cats,” Jehan says emphatically.

Montparnasse looks at them and he knows what’s coming and this is so incredibly unfair because he already had a glass of wine and Jehan is wearing one of those flowery crop tops that the weather should already be too cold for and he’s looking at him with those damn big eyes with little specs of light in them…

The lasting silence on Montparnasse’s end is apparently enough encouragement for Jehan. “The couple I’m doing the wedding invitations for have cats,” they say.

You look like a cat, Montparnasse thinks, arching your back against the radiator like that. But he doesn’t say anything. He knows about the wedding invitations, Jehan showed him their practice designs. They are all flowery words and curly calligraphy, Jehan’s speciality.

“They have _three_ cats,” Jehan continues. “Sara had two and Jess had one too, but now Jess has moved in and they don’t get along.”

Montparnasse reaches out to refill his glass. “They’re getting married and they’ve only just moved in together?” he says. “That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“They were long distance for like…years,” Jehan says.

“Still,” Montparnasse insists.

“It’s True Love,” Jehan says decidedly.

Montparnasse opens his mouth.

“Like us,” Jehan smiles.

Montparnasse shuts his mouth.

“But _now_ ,” Jehan chatters. “Now Jess has to find a new home for her tomcat, because he just can’t deal with not being the only cat and Parnasse you’d _love_ him.”

“No,” Montparnasse says.

Jehan immediately throws themself forward to hug their boyfriend’s knees and they look up at Montparnasse from behind a scattering of red curls. That’s just cheating on _so_ many levels.

“He’s _majestic_ , Parnasse.”

“No.” He is not falling for this. He is not being tricked into getting a cat.

“One of my housemates is allergic to cats.”

“No.”

“She is actually,” Jehan points out.

“My _answer_ is no,” Montparnasse grits.

“But you have such a nice big apartment!” Jehan says enthusiastically. “And I’m here so often we would totally be taking care of him together.”

“No.”

“His name is Montague.”

Okay, that is a seriously cool name for a cat, but- “No!”

Jehan pouts. They _pout._

“Jehan I am not taking in a cat,” he says, trying to make his voice as stern as possible. “If you think I am going to go through life covered in cat hair-” He huffs indignantly.

“He’s black,” Jehan interrupts.

“What?” Montparnasse blinks.

“Montague,” Jehan clarifies. “He’s black. So you won’t even see it on 99% of your clothes.”

“That’s not how cat hair works,” Montparnasse protests.

“He’d go really well with your décor,” Jehan argues.

Montparnasse grimaces.

“And if he lived here you could totally demand I come over at any time,” Jehan says, batting their eyes.

“I will not be bribed into adopting a cat,” Montparnasse insists.

“But-”

“No!”

“But you don’t _understand_ …” Jehan whines, dragging themself off the floor until they are practically draped across Montparnasse’s lap. “I _love_ him.”

Great, so now the cat is _competition_.

“Every time I go over there I see him and Jess says no one wants him and I just… You could just come with me once? To meet him. To see if you like him? _Please_?”

Montparnasse’s face is positively contorted. There is no way. No way in hell. Under no circumstance will he- “I’ll go with you to meet the stupid cat,” he grunts.

Jehan wriggles so violently with happiness Montparnasse has to grab them so they don’t fall off his lap and onto the floor.

…

This isn’t so bad, Montparnasse thinks the following Tuesday as he gets off the bus behind Jehan. They haven’t let go of his hand all this time and if their legs weren’t considerably shorter than his, they’d probably be dragging him along the sidewalk. Things being what they are Jehan skips the length of Montparnasse’s long strides, one hand curled around Montparnasse’s and the other clasping their folder with calligraphy designs. ( _Technically_ this is a work visit.) And since it’s a proper fall day that makes Montparnasse’s long-sleeved black-on-black ensemble actually comfortable for a change _and_ Jehan is wearing dungarees and their hair in two braids, well, even Montparasse doesn’t think he has the right to complain.

“You’re gonna love him,” Jehan says happily, pressing the doorbell. “Wait and see.”

Montparnasse makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat.

The door opens and a tall woman with out of control hair appears. “Jehan!” she exclaims. “Early like always.”

“Hi Sara!” Jehan smiles broadly. “This is Parnasse.”

“I figured,” she winks.

“Hi,” Montparnasse says, _almost_ pleasantly. These people have hired Jehan after all.

“Do come in,” she says, stepping aside and Jehan pulls Montparnasse inside with an eagerness that makes him cringe. He’s not going to take the cat. Jehan is going to be disappointed and probably sulk. Well, as long as they don’t cry. Montparnasse has seen Jehan cry from actual sadness only once and even though he wasn’t the cause he still hasn’t quite gotten over it.

“Jess!” Sara calls out in the hallway while Jehan charges straight into the living room. “Jehan’s here! They brought their sweetheart!”

Montparnasse doesn’t grimace, but only because Jehan is beaming at him. He sighs. “Well, where’s this cat then?”

Right at that moment a young, chubby cat pops up from behind a curtain. It shakes its head confusedly for a moment and then trots towards the bowl of food at the other end of the room. Montparnasse glances at Jehan, who has already bent over to pet it. This fur ball is kind of cute, sure, but ‘majestic’ is definitely not a word he’d use to describe that waddle and another thing:

“I’d think that after more than a year of dating me you’d know what black is,” Montparasse remarks. “That is not black, Jehan, it’s grey.”

“Oh!” Jehan grins. “That’s not Monty.”

“Montague’s out in the garden,” a voice says behind them and Montparnasse turns around. This must be Jess. Jess who does not abbreviate her cat’s name.

“Hi,” Jess nods in greeting. He nods back. “Hello, Jehan,” she adds with a grin. “So you finally managed to drag him out here.”

“Told you,” Jehan beams.

 “Jehan?” Sara’s voice comes from what Montparnasse presumes must be the kitchen. “Come pick your blend of tea!”

Jehan skips out, leaving Montparnasse with Jess, who is well dressed, has flawless brown skin, and whose hair is not out of control. Montparnasse hasn’t decided whether he likes her more or less for that.

“I was dragged out here to meet a cat,” he points out. “But he’s not here.”

“Oh he’ll show up,” Jess says. “He always does when Jehan-.”

A shadow moves at the open window and Jess stops talking. Montparnasse looks up. Perched on the windowsill is the most catlike cat Montparnasse has ever seen. His fur is thick and as shiny as black can get, his eyes are yellow and his bushy tail is wrapped around his paws with unmistakable pride. And disapproval. And disdain for the world in general.

“That’s him,” Jess says.

Montparnasse says nothing.

The cat leaps off the windowsill and onto the floor with what should be a thump but instead makes hardly any sound at all. Slowly he walks past the chubby grey. It sticks out a paw in its direction. The black cat _glares_. The grey paw is retracted.

“He’s kind of an asshole,” Jess remarks casually. “He’s bad enough with Cinders there, but Yule doesn’t even come out when he’s around. She basically lives upstairs now.”

“So you want to get rid of him?” Montparnasse asks, still looking at the cat, who definitely looks like a Montague.

“Well, like I said,” Jess says. “He’s kind of an asshole. We had an arrangement and it has served us well, but he can do without me. Cinders and Yule would wilt without Sara.” She drops her voice to a stage whisper. “And she’d wilt without them.”

Montague gives Jess an appraising look and Jess looks back. “But I’m not letting him go to anywhere but an actual good home,” she says, not looking away from the yellow-eyed stare. “I’m not bringing him to a shelter.”

“Because you’re afraid no one would want him?” Montparnasse asks.

“Cause it’d be cruel to the volunteers,” Jess adds.

The yellow eyes give her a disdainful look and Montague turns around to walk past her . When he does, he brushes past Jess’s leg in what _could_ be a completely accidental manner. Montparnasse feels a strange sort of appreciation.

Slowly, with all the dignity feline paws can muster, Montague stalks over to him and _stares_. It really is an impressive stare. Slowly, with affected indifference, Montparnasse lowers himself into a crouching position and extends his hand. Montague blinks at it. There is a long pause. Then the cat gives the slightest inclination of the head and Montparnasse scratches him behind his ear, careful not to ruffle his luscious fur. His perfectly painted nails nearly fall away against the shiny black.

“You dealt with cats before,” Jess says.

He lets out an ambiguous hum and stands back up. Montague walks away from him with a very familiar brand of pretend indifference.

“Why do you want to give him to me?” he asks bluntly.

“I don’t,” Jess replies, equally blunt. “I want to give him to Jehan. You’re the next best thing.”

Montparnasse grimaces. Him being the next best substitute for Jehan is preposterous. But that is not the only preposterous thing in this situation. Why on earth would Jehan want this cat? Why on earth would Jess – who seems less stupid than most people Montparnasse has met – think this cat would tolerate Jehan?

“Why Jehan?” he asks.

“Well,” Jess begins, but at that moment Sara and Jehan emerge from the kitchen and Jehan sees Montague.

“Monty!” Jehan exclaims. “There you are!” And Montparnasse looks on as Jehan drops to his knees, scoops up what must be at least 18 pounds of glossy furred, aloof pride and hugs it. “Look at you, handsome, beautiful creature!” Jehan coos. Their hands with the tinkling bracelets are stroking lovingly, messing up the perfect shiny coat. “He’s part Maine Coon,” they explain proudly to Montparasse, but Montparnasse doesn’t see the gushing look in their hazel eyes. For once he’s not looking at them. He’s looking at the cat. That ill-tempered, disdainful cat, that is being smushed against the washed-out blue of Jehan’s dungarees and now hangs in their arms with a sort of embarrassed resignation and a very _very_ familiar look of reluctant adoration on its otherwise dignified snout.

“I’ll take him,” Monparnasse blurts out.

“You what?” Jehan gasps and Jess smirks.

“I’ll take him,” Montparnasse repeats gruffly. “He can live with me.”

“Parnasse!” Jehan cheers and springs to their feet so quickly that Montague would have had every reason to dig his nails into their freckled arms. He doesn’t, of course. “I _told_ you you would love him!” they squeal. “And you totally match!”

They try to put the cat into Montparnasse’s arms, but Montparnasse puts him down again immediately, his hands only lingering to smooth back his messed up fur because that is just a tragedy. Montague lets out a single, curt purr.

Jehan gasps with delight. “He loves you too!” they gush.

Montparnasse sighs. All he can think about is how obnoxiously thrilled their – that is _Jehan’s_ – friends are going to be when they find out. He can already picture Bahorel’s face when he finds out the cat’s name.

Of course Jehan is still chattering happily. “I’m sure he will just adore your place, it’s so quiet. And I will teach you how to take care of him!”

“I know how to look after cats,” Montparnasse says, lifting his eyes to Jehan’s. “I grew up with three.”

Jehan’s mouth drops. “ _What?_ ”

Montparnasse holds in a smirk. “Best thing about that foster family,” he replies casually.

“I…” Jehan starts. “I…how dare you.”

Jess laughs and Montparnasse can’t quite hold back his grin anymore. Jehan looks indignant. They’re really bad at it. It’s adorable.

“There better be pictures!” they demand.

“Nope,” Montparnasse grins.

“Well!” Jehan huffs. “I am going to be taking pictures of you two _every day_.” And they gesture threateningly between Montparnasse and Montague before turning around with a flourish to take the cup of tea Sara is offering them smiligly.

Montparnasse glances at the cat and the cat glances back.

“That means you’ll have to come over every day,” he points out.

“You think I won’t?” Jehan tries to scowl, but it’s hard to scowl over the rim of a cup of camomile tea. “Just you try and stop me!”

Montparnasse looks up at him, folding his hands behind his back while Montague wraps his tail around his paws. “We wouldn’t dare,” he smirks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my sis for proofreading and coming up with the title!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Montparnasse, and a Montague](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948301) by [mariuspondmercy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariuspondmercy/pseuds/mariuspondmercy)




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